If it coughs like an allergy, and congests like an allergy, it’s a sinus infection.

I’ve decided I don’t have allergies, but rather that I have one of those ‘sinus infections’ you hear so much about. Unless, of course, it IS just allergies. I’m gonna hafta see a doctor on this one — I’ve been up and down since Christmas. Wish I’d gotten some decongestant in my stocking.

I wouldn’t be TOO surprised if it’s allergies. I’m pretty much susceptible to any malady cured by a medication I see a TV commercial for. I’d never had “acid reflux” before Nexium and Prevacid started fighting over the color purple for their pills. And my cholesterol was never too bad before Lipitor started showing otherwise healthy people with cholesterol in the 250 range. Rogaine’s work began years ago, but only this last year came to fruition in a giant bald spot in the back of my scalp. So it was only a matter of time before the combined powers of Claritin, Zyrtec, Alavert, and Allegra came after my non-itchy eyes and non-congested nose.

So far, the only medications I haven’t had to consider are the ones for which I receive daily spam. Thank goodness for THAT, at least.

But like I said, my initial prognosis of allergies seems to have been premature; Claritin knock-offs haven’t done anything for me, and a sinus infection has a lot of the same symptoms.

Why can’t I just snort some alcohol and kill whatever is residing in my head’s mucus production facility?

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