I’m sitting here drinking Diet Caffeine-Free Dr. Pepper, while eating a chocolate candy bar.
Wouldn’t it be great if your stomach had a flue you could close when the flu sets in? “Sorry, bile — entrance only. You’re gonna have to go out the right way.”
“If your food just flew, better get a flu-flue.”
That damn jolly old elf apparently left our daughter some stomach flu virus, because she was barfing all night last night. It’s been 2 hours since her last episode.
We thought at first that perhaps her system was just rejecting the junk food she’d been fed all day, and explained that might be why she was sick. A little later she said, “I’m never going to eat junk food again. Only healthy foods and good breakfasts. And just Cheerios, not Honey Nut Cheerios.”
Estimated time until that resolution is broken: 10 hours, 32 minutes.
The worst situation in giving a gift is when you have to explain your gift.
“Well, see… at first I didn’t know what to get you, but I know how much you like mashed potatoes…”
The following are corrections to common misquotes I’ve heard lately.
- Gandhi never actually said “It’s time to open a can of whoop-ass.” It was Duke Nukem.
- Jennifer Lopez is quoted as saying “My seat-bottom can be used as a flotation device”; the correct source is American Airlines.
- Christie McAuliff never said “What does this button do?”
- The phrase “I’m Batman” was spoken by Batman, not the Green Lantern.
- General MacArthur said “I shall return,” not “I’ll be back.”
- No one ever actually said “Let’s elect Bush for a third term.”
- Michael Moore never said “No, thank you, I’m full.” His actual words were “Whaddya mean, no thirds?”
- Franklin Roosevelt’s actual words were “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself,” not the more commonly heard “The only thing we have to fear is Polio.”
- “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.” This is alternately attributed to Garth Brooks or Kenny Chesney; the correct speaker is John F. Kennedy.
- It was “Use the force, Luke,” not “Use force, Luke.” Obi Wan Kenobi, Star Wars.
- Frosted Lucky Charms are not “magically malicious,” as you’ll often hear.
- Nike’s slogan was “Just do it,” not “Make it so,” as many claim. (The latter was Captain Picard.)
- Speaking of Picard, the first season winner of TV’s The Bachelor did not propose marriage by saying, “Engage!”
Hope that clears thing up.
I can’t get this freakin’ thing out of my mind. First order of business would be to re-watch all the movies and figure out how to make the timelines and canon work together — I think it involves saying that the Animatrix was a series of propaganda films built by the Matrix to show Galactica the “truth”, although it’s complete falsehoods.
Then I’d need to BUY (or burn) all the films so I could grab screenshots. Then I just have to watch the films so many times that I know where to get the screenshots I need at a moment’s notice, and I could grab ’em, filter ’em to my faux-comic style (I saw other comic style tutorials out there, but this is the best I’ve been able to come up with), and I have my own illegal fan comic.
I did it — I broke down and paid 70% more than retail to get my hands on a Wii in time for Christmas.
It was a hasty decision, and had many things factoring into it.
- I wanted one, really badly.
- I was spending a lot of time calling stores, swinging by places, and considering standing in ludicrous lines.
- My time is worth a lot to me.
So I feel a hair sheepish, but so far no real regret. I want it, I paid what I think it’s worth. Maybe once it comes I’ll find that it’s not as fun as everybody says, or that my body can’t handle video games that are that active, or that it emits poison gas. But until then, I’m content with my decision.
Oh, $420 + free shipping, since you asked.
I’m feeling somewhat vindicated, too, by the fact that today they’re going for even more — closer to $500 with shipping. I bet the price continues to creep up over the next few days before the demand tapers off out of fear of not getting it in time for Christmas. The supply will probably dwindle somewhat — right now there’s one going every minute — and the anxious folks will get more so. I bet a console, by itself, will probably reach $575 – $600 with shipping as the average price range by Saturday.
Let’s see if I’m right!