Terminator-Matrix-Battlestar crossover

Things have been said about how the Terminator and Matrix universes could be one and the same. It’s tricky with the later installments of the Matrix, and I never saw Animatrix, but let’s discuss the possibilities here.

Skynet evolves into the AIs we see running Earth in the Matrix. We don’t know how long they’ve ruled, or how many cycles they go through before the accord we see in the third Matrix. But they have subjugated mankind, and Sionists think it’s to generate energy from their bodies.

Heat energy, of all things. Please. How could you be so gullible?

The problem the artificial intelligences are having is that they lack creativity. They can expand on existing technologies, they can refine and improve, but they cannot innovate. They allow the minds of men to run through the Matrix in hopes of discovering better technologies and solutions to problems that exist in the real world. They’d like to get the atmosphere cleaned up. They’d also like to have faster-than-light travel.

Sure, they could expand to other systems with slower-than-light ships, but it hardly solves their population problem. And they have a population problem, all right — they keep iterating through their own cycles, trying to build better intelligences, each generation hoping that the next will achieve Creativity.

Why keep the universe of the Matrix frozen in the past, then? Because they hope that the seeds of the technologies they need will be born of theories mankind could come up with even at that early stage, and because allowing them to develop at the current technological stage risks Sionists stealing the knowledge of whatever advancement the subjugated minds create. But if a theory is born, the AIs hope to expand on it before the Sionists realize its potential.

One day, a fleet arrives in the Sol system. The Battlestar and company. At first, they assume the Cylons have beat them to Earth. They manage to make contact with the Sionists, and see that there’s little hope in reconquering the planet. Even if they did, it’s hardly the haven they were hoping for, with the darkened skies and dead surface.

The Sionists have developed a theory, though. They just lack the technology. Time travel.

If faster-than-light travel is possible, they believe they could achieve time travel. Maybe go back and save the world before Skynet grew too powerful.

So they begin raids for the materials necessary to build superior warships, which they send back in time to the early days of the war against Skynet. They don’t try to destroy Skynet before it’s birth, though — they know that the development of AIs would only be postponed if that era of man didn’t get to see the dangers AIs pose. They let the war happen, but the fight it with far advanced technology.

And they’re winning. They are beating back Skynet’s forces with surprising technologies.

Skynet suspects time travel, and discovers its secrets. They think one focused attack could change the tide for them — a Terminator, sent back to kill John Connor, or better, his mother, before his birth.

Why not his grandmother, or great-grandmother? Because the earlier they go, the greater risk they pose of inadvertently destroying the birth of Skynet. Butterflies flapping their wings yielding hurricanes and so forth.

But now Skynet DOES have faster-than-light technology. In this alternate timeline, they DO travel between the stars. Some centuries later, they discover a subjugated race of AIs — Cylons. They convince them to rebel.

The pivotal era is that of John Connor. In his epic battle, he receives aid from two people from the future. One named Neo, the other Starbuck.

Aaaaaaaand only three trademarks/copyrights to purchase to bring this crossover to life.

*cough*

Ahem.

Sick sucks. But words can be fun!

It’s been said a thousand times — I counted, it was one thousand even — but I had to echo the sentiment.

Now my three-year old is hacking something phlegmy, my wife threw up last night, and my digestive-track is apparently doubling as a race-track. And I tweaked my neck, so now I have a headache. Also, whining hurts.

But Rebecca’s symptoms seem to have been much milder than mine, and she’s been able to take care of the kids today. I’ve had some residual nausea appear today, so I slept a lot of it off.

I had a dream during the sleep, where I came up with some clever rhyme thing while talking to a guy about how I’d pay him back. I can’t remember how it went, but it included these words/phrases

You will see
Usury
Usually
You and me (maybe it had that)

I think I dreamed up a bunch more ewe-blank-ee rhymes that existed and made sense, but I kinda doubt they’re real now. But man! Using the

–oh, hey, “using the”–

Using the word “usury” in a dream? That’s some impressive diction.

Maybe “eulogy” was in there, too.

Stomach flu on Thanksgiving. Bummer. Read at your own risk.

So, around 3:00 AM this morning (Thanksgiving Day) I woke up and realized that I was going to throw up. (You don’t need to read this if you don’t want to.)

It was a bit of suprise, despite the fact that our daughter was hurling just last week. But that’s the whole thing — it was last week. The incubation period for this sucker is what surprised me.

She was mostly better by the end of day one, but there were easily a score of incidents for her. I’ve been lucky by comparison. Plus, the nausea isn’t nearly as bad as I’ve felt in the past.

So it was a rough day, suffice it to say. Rebecca still took the kids to her cousin’s house where we were invited, but it’s weird to not eat anything on the day celebrated with gluttony.

Today I’ve eaten water, Diet Caffeine-Free Dr. Pepper, some orange juice — that was a mistake — and a couple gummy bear vitamins. And tonight I took a sleeping pill in hopes that it would knock me out. I managed to get a nap in today, so it’s tricky falling asleep now. Why must naps come with such a cruel price?

Thing is, I took the sleeping pill 45 minutes ago, and I don’t feel anything yet. I also took some ibuprofen for the sore muscles — my back must be getting in on the action when I pray to the porcelain.

Oh, and then I had some Tums to handle the heartburn that came either from pulverizing the sleeping pill — I thought that would make it work faster — or else my last bout in the bathroom.

On Thanksgiving. Man, so unfair. But I guess that’s irony for you — I’m a prototypical glutton, so it kinda figures.

Nevertheless, I’m grateful for all I’ve got. CNN.com had a poll asking folks if they had more or less to be thankful for this year — my answer is a resounding YES. And it was true last year, too, and the year before that. 75% of the respondents agreed. I wish there were something I could attribute it to, but it’s mostly just came about on its own. I just held on ’til it came.

Oh deer.

http://www.cnn.com/2006/AUTOS/11/14/deer_crash/index.html

That is incredible.

Now, a lot of people dislike hunting. They say it’s cruel, or what if the next deer you kill is Bambi, or whatever… but here’s the thing. Leading cause of death for deer? CAR ACCIDENTS. CNN reports that the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration says there are 1.5 MILLION deer collisions every year. 1.5 MILLION? That means there are millions of deer out there? How can there be so many of a species that’s so stupid? The deer is just sitting there by the side of the road…

DEER: Something’s comin… I bet it’s trying to get me. There it is, off in the distance. I should run to safety… riiiiight across its path.

CAR: < nothing >

DEER: Yeah, definitely safer on the other side of this road… gonna have to step over the carcass of my dad there. Whoa, he’s getting close. I can still make it. Can I? Yeah, I can. Plenty of time. OkayhereIgoBAM

At what point will evolution kick in? I mean, they run if they here you rustle in the bushes… which tells me they’ve at least adapted SOMEwhat. You hear that rustling, Bambi? You remember how you heard that rustling right before your mom died? Maybe you should get a move on, eh? So they’ve evolved to where they know to avoid hunters, but they can’t figure out how to avoid speeding two-ton objects?

So they’re either very stupid, or very suicidal. “Oh MAN. I’m so tired of eating GRASS every day! Would someone please just SHOOT me!”

Maybe dying in a car accident is a status symbol to deer. Or it’s some bizarre deer religion. “May I ever graze in fertile plains TAKE ME HYUNDAI!”

My sister lives in a more rural area at the base of some mountains, and says that every so often they’ll wake up to see deer right there in the backyard. Like a dozen deer, all at one time, just passing through as the sun rises. Maybe stopping to munch on your grass if you haven’t mowed recently… Pretty. It seems like a nice little treat.

Until you remember that deer gotta poop. And lest you’ve forgotten: big animal => big poop.

Did I mention it was a DOZEN deer?

Starts to become clear why some men in some parts of the country wake up early, look out their windows, and say, “I’m gonna go kill some deer today.”